Was deciding to resign after the peak CNY period…

And i did.

I went in with my resignation letter twice, and it was rejected twice.

First time was because my FC wasn’t feeling well so she asked me to tender again today when she can persuade me.

But, today one of e asst.FM went in too…

Then together both of them talk ard 2hrs and doesn’t allow me to resign!

In the end i had to say i consider but i hope the next time i go in they will not persuade me anymore.

Actually i really understand they are very good to me. They want to let me learn full-set, groom me, teach me lots of things.

I know they mean good to me that because they can’t guarantee other companies will give me as much knowledge as they’ll give me. And they really want me to stay so that they can teach me a lot.

I know i resign now because of what the problems that they thought is not sensible.

Becoz of workload— can work together to help me

Becoz of people– anywhere will face problems with people

Becoz of lots of problems– i should stay, overcome n raise those problems if i really can’t solve…

Everything is not an good excuse to leave.

“To Stop Crying”,  is that a good reason?

I only know now i don’t care whether i’m doing AP or Full-set or what, i just want to leave……………………..

I don’t want to stay anymore day with all the problem invoices pilling up and i don’t have the motivation to solve them.

I don’t want to stay anymore day to receive anymore calls that it’s so hard to settle them.

I don’t know if i will have a new job.

I don’t know what i’m going to do next.

I just know that i really don’t feel like staying here anymore.

It’s very disappointing that i have these thoughts.

But, i really………………….. sign……………

How can i go in again to resign?

No matter what they kept telling me to re-consider and persuade me..

I really know.. I really know what they meant and they meant good..

If i can, i also wish i could stay on to receive what they planned for me.

BUT, i just want to leave……………………………….

I’m such a great troublemaker for them.

This is the 4th or 5th time my FC spent so much time conseling me.

But, i’m just so weird that i appreciate but i still want to leave!

She told me that she need some time to think about what i’ve wrote.. Which mostly regards to personality?

There is quite some changes happening to my job scope…

Previously, one type of matching that i do is, the QS department will sign contract with a supplier, then everytime i matched the Invoice & Delivery Order, i have to open the contract file in my com, to check the unit price. Then after that photocopy each invoices to them to let them take into their budget.

Now, the QS department will get the invoice, matched to their Delivery Instruction issued, and the purchasers will pass them the Delivery Orders. Then they matched everything, aka Invoice + DO + Delivery Instruction, checked the Quantity & Unit Price, ensure everything is ok, verified and give me then i just key into system.

That means i don’t have to refer to their contracts, i don’t have to check the price & quantity, i just take and key into the system.

Although not all contracts-related invoices are like this, actually there are still quite some invoices that i have to refer back to contract… But at least it ease quite a bit of load for me.

But it’s real bad for the QS department. Because every month they have to do a list for our Accruals too.

Then FC say that they are starting to discuss and plan to let the SITE people match the Delivery Oders to the Purchase Orders at the point of delivery at site. Because when goods delivered, they should pull out the Purchase Order, and check the quantity clearly right?

If not we are always having the problem that quantity delivered and price agreed is not as what we ordered.

They will discuss and plan, and to go down to every site to ‘educate’ them what is the right thing they should do. But this cannot be confirmed…

We are employing a temp staff to help out in AP from 17 Nov to 24 Jan. Because this period is peak. These 2 days interviewed some people. Monday still got 2.

We have a new accountant coming…. Accountant’s rank is just below Asst.FM, which means she’s higher than accts exec. & senior exec.

I really didn’t know sia.. i thought accountant is just normal accountant.

Then going out to lunch is more troublesome already. Because normally we already cannot all go out to lunch…

O.o new colleague… all attention will be shifted… Hope i won’t mind… Because i’m used to being the only child, and the youngest & newest staff in this department… hahaha.. wu liao….

My colleagues have been telling me i should take up a full-set if i’m given the opportunity to.

Even the most person that i’m worried about her feelings, oso told me that i should take up if i have the chance.

They told me that i am able to handle & learn fast…

But, i am still afraid ba? Do i still remember all the accounts stuff that i learnt?

Or i basically forgotten clearly everything and know nothing?

Coz Dec & Nov is our super peak period -.-

Esp year end closing & CNY is too near this time…

We have to keep to the very tight closing deadlines coz SGX’s reporting date cannot be changed…

Dec closing of Nov’s account, AP cut off is 6th Dec, which is a saturday.

Jan closing of Dec’s account aka year end, AP cut off is also 6th Jan.

Then coz now the QS department got to do some part of the matching, the purchasing department all along doing the DO&PO matching..

Both department got to do their list of accruals for us.

Therefore our tight schedules also includes them!

Our schedule is out… one super long list of dates, and who have to complete what…

Both department, if can’t finish, got to come back on Sat or OT to complete sia…

I was feeling damn bad towards the QS department coz it’s a very big difference for them right.. got to do matching, accrual list etc etc..

But thank God so far they did not show much unhappiness… It seems that they are quite understanding lor.. SEEMS like lar… as i always thought, u won’t know if they’re unhappy deep inside… And i think more or less they will. Because they’re humans.

Erm… for the other department, which is e purchasers…. erm… haix.. i dun dare to think that they will understand lar.

U know i have to liase with them a lot coz their PO always got difference.. But even their manager is damn fierce n face always damn black de. I dun dare to go n find her de lor.

Because of accounts, almost the whole company’s affected hahaha… Who like accounts?

Why must accounts always be like this? Being disliked. Sian de sia…

I was saying i will come back to office on 1st Dec after our tax exam ends at 6pm.. coz it’s near ma!

I am taking leave the week before 1st Dec…

Last closing i used the last wk of e mth & 1st wk of next mth to rush match & key 1100 invoices…

This time i am taking e last wk of e mth leh…

Although most prob a temp will be helping out already, but the AP cut off is 6th dec leh..

2nd dec to 6th dec… i dun think i can do much even if i work 24hrs.

So i rather i come back on 1st Dec since i go home oso only slp n watch DVD right.

It’s always better to xian ku hou tian?

Suddenly i think that i realise what i’m doing for the past few months.

I’m doing AP.. means i have to ensure that every single invoice is properly matched, with supporting documents and no questions…

But all along i am only blindly matching & keyin in coz i became only concerning about clearing as much things…

Someone told me that the most thing she doesn’t want to see is someone work and cannot see the finishing line.

Indeed my job it is?

I am just forever filling, matching, keying in.. then before i know there’s invoices and DO continuously coming in………..

It’s never ending and will never end.

It’s a Bad and Horrible Cycle..

There are 4 weeks per month.. My AP invoices cut off is on the tuesday of 2nd week of the month. After closing, i have one pile of problem invoices which i throw into a basket coz i don’t have time to settle it yet.

Then e rest of e week n 3rd week, i’ll be photocopying to give QS department the invoices that i keyed, then do filling, after they return me, i do filling again.. Then try my best to settle the problem invoices.

Then in e midst invoices and DOs still non-stop flowing in like waterfall.

Then 4th week, 1st wk of next mth i have to begin matching, keying, matching, keying, filling for closing again…

To date (9th Nov), i counted, i’ve keyed in 9 batches.

Which means, 900+++ invoices!!!!!

And still not ending, coz Mon & tue is the last 2days, definitely will over 1000 invoices for the month de lor!

And i must really stress that, during the day i can’t do much thing. I can spend the whole day just doing filling coz i’ll be interrupted so many times.

Remember there’s one period whereby i’m so down with some issues…….

After a period i finally wanted to get out of it, therefore i wan to be smile-isophia… Therefore Kelly’s album name Smiling Kelly reminds me of this..

But, i don’t think i can Smile-iSophia now….

As ‘usual’, i went into FC’s room for quite some time today.. I must be a super troublesome n headache staff right…

She said lots of things… and really, lots of things, i cannot blog out here..

I felt very bad lar… Coz this should be the 4th time she have been saying these to me, she hope that i can open up and tell them my problems so that they can understand n try to solve it…

I reali wanna tell them lots of my thoughs but, i juz can’t get that out of my mouth…

So i told her i need some time to think.. and she asked me to get back to her by next week…

But i told her later that i will email her instead…

Those who knows me…

Don’t you agree?

I spill my thoughts out totally on msn…….

Why?

Becoz i reali doesnt talk of things on my mind/heart. I type.

Then later the asst.fm aka my ‘godma’ asked me some things…

Ard 11pm, another colleague called me to encourage me to speak to lady boss abt some issues…

Erm, there is one colleague whom i am getting more n more hmm hmm…

Dunno izzit character clash coz same horoscope -.-

Other colleagues heard/seen how i endure her lots nowadays..

This colleague who called me is oso very very good to me..

She told me if i dun dare to speak up and things carry on, she’s gonna be e bad person and speak to lady boss..

Haix i dunno… Maybe i’ll mention a little…

As u know i dun like to have any bit of unhappiness with anyone…

Esp someone who is so super emotional.

too-doos, going to type email to lady boss… haix.. isophia’s position is getting more n more difficult…..

she doesn’t know how to face them.

At first creating this blog, not becoz i wanna fill it up with complaints only.

I thought i could happily blog interesting stuffs with interesting titles relating to my job.

Apparently for the past 2 months, it isn’t.

Few days ago someone (i forgot who, but someone not close to me) asked me will i choose to give up my studies or give up my job?

I replied: Job.

I asked myself tonight,

Who am i to deserve these?

Why am i deserving these?

Why is it so unfair?

Why other colleagues don’t have to face so much nuisance and problems, why they don’t have to be crazily busy?

And why all other jobs in other companies, although have it’s difficulties or disadvantage, but at least they’re not super busy, they can work quietly and peacefully and get their job done well?

It’s all because i’m working in SOIL BUILD PTE LTD, handling Accounts Payable.

I don’t care revealling e name anymore!

Maybe being sacked is also a relieve for me.

Then i also asked myself, do i really have to wait till next June fail all my 2 papers then i 甘願 辭職, after spending almost $3000 on school fees by then?

Maybe i won’t even pass the TAX this december, which we should have confidence in passing coz we took before.

And if i really fail and i did not do well in Taxation, it’s becoz of nth but my work.

I’m not giving myself excuses that i didn’t study during weekends or after work.

Becoz i’m back at work on weekend and public holiday, and i end work later than normal office hours.

Becoz i’m being disturbed continously by many many calls and a lot problems pop up so i’m so terribly tired after work.

Suddenly i have the very big phobia of going to work tomorrow..

I can imagine e suppliers kept calling me asking for payments, and part of them can’t get their cheques these few days coz i haven’t settle their problem invoice which is none of their biz, they should get their payment.

Can imagine them complaining, blaming me.

And last fri big boss didnt approve a lot of things that i put in.

Tell me how i should drag the thing till middle and end of November where they’re chasing since oct!!!!!

and… seeing my invoices, delivery orders keep pilling up and i have no time to match & key them…

and… it’s nov and i can’t see when can i do the Sep’s supplier recon statement.

My dad told me i’m not suitable for this job.

Because i can’t handle people chasing me for payment.

And

Because i SHOULD NOT BE LYING ALL THE TIME.

I remembered the 2nd or 3rd mth i’m working, i told colleagues before i felt bad of having to lie to suppliers all e time.

Yupie…. i really should not be lying all e time.

I feel bad doing so.

明明不是我的錯，爲什麽我得幫罪魁禍首擋他們的電話，爲什麽怪的都是我

我的工作責任真的應該包括一直接那些電話嗎？

Before we have to go down to sign up for another 2 papers, i’m still trying to find another way out……………………..

which doesn’t relates to accounts.

and

我真的不想干了！

feel like slapping the one who keeps dragging the due payment and landed us in all e horrible state of facing the supplier’s nasty comments.

每天躲在被窩哭的日子，我還要過多久？

Placed it on my table…

But unfortunately my FC noticed and took it..

But i did grab it back.

She wanted to talk to me…

But, i was rather rude.. i did not want to talk to her..

Then she walked away..

and she went home…

Think she’s very disappointed and unhappy ba..

It’s also very struggling for me to make this decision…

How much i love the environment here…

How much i am comfortable here…

Lynn jiejie, corinne mama, witch jiejie really treat me good good..

The 2 bosses and asst. fm also beri good..

How much i wanted to celebrate Christmas & CNY here…

After hearing what they said..

Everyone of us will have a big sock, inside with presents that other ppl give us..

Then will have feast… will have christmas trees…

I even thought of spraying the snow on our glass doors le..

CNY.. got 4 days de rest…

Got company dinner & our own depart. dinner…

How much i am so looking forward to these…

They’re really a bunch of so good de colleagues..

Treat me like real sister n daughter..

Except that somebody………………………………………………..

But,

the work here is just killing me.

I dun wan to make my resignation a threat to let me promote or increase pay or wad.. definitely not this meaning…

And it’s not anyone’s fault… or, not really anyone’s fault..

It’s just the company itself lar…

DAI WO ZOU~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My level of patience is going down and down and down…

Without hesitation of $$$$$ for sch fees and recession period, how i wish i can LEAVE IMMEDIATELY!!!

I really dont know why i am here torturing myself.

Why should i be the one holding all these responsibilities.

Payment only is really too much.

And too troublesome!!!!

It’s such a big burden!!!!!

Especially with her!!!!!

I dun wanna work anymore!!!!!

No matter what anyone say!!!!!

I don’t wanna work anymore!!!!!!!!!!

Can i leave now???!!!!!!!

Reali bth her leh..

Seems like she really only take it as prepare cheque is her responsibility..

After  that she just ignore like tat.

Cheque come out she oso nv care.

And i cannot dun care. Coz if never check then e cheque cannot release

Realli sibeh bth leh.

Call suppliers oso push to me

Cheque lost oso push to me

Check signature oso push to me

Update cash book oso push to me

I can just do payment everyday and dont need to do matching key in anything le lar.

Yesterday suddenly thought that,

one person should be fully and only in charge of the whole AP payment..

The person can answer all the calls,

prepare cheques,

call ppl up to collect cheques,

prepare payment approval,

do casting (which takes up 2 weeks),

prepare cheques is never ending everyday, esp when monthly petty cash & suppliers invoices…

I don’t think the workload is little for that person to do only these.

Casting alr took 2 weeks,

prepare cheques need long long time,

calling ppl to collect cheque can take more than half day,

prepare weekly payment approval also half day,

and FILLING takes damn long time too.

The person can be a permanent part-time, which only comes on Mon, Wed and Fri…

Right?

But, i won’t suggest this.

Because, it’s not possible to add one more person.

They said…

Before i come, my mentor did everything on her own,

she can’t cope, so they hired me.

Now that they hired me, why everyone still cannot cope?

They want to find out the problem and improve so that we can cope.

That’s also impossible.

No hope on that.

Say out……………………………………

I already gave up on everything.

She kept telling me i have to clear this, clear that asap..

Everyday…

But, there are so many interruptions..

One call can take me 10min, after i put down e phone, it immediately rings again..

and it goes on and on and on….

Then suddenly give me one stack of things ask me find out the past payment..

Suddenly ask me settle a payment…

Suddenly have to find the documents….

I could not do anything that i have to do.

• filling
• photcopy
• matching
• key in
• supp reconciliation
• chase credit note
• look through DO
• settle problem invoice
• payment

Other than the never ending interruptions, i finally started doing filling yesterday and today.

But end up kept being reminded i have to clear other stuffs asap.

And if i clear other stuff, i am being reminded to clear another stuff asap..

I am already doing, i can’t do all at once

But if i don’t do all at once, i am delaying a lot of stuffs and affecting other people’s work

I already given up.

I don’t wanna care anymore.

I just do.

Anyone who remind me to clear stuffs, i only reply an ‘orh’

I don’t even bother to say i’m doing what, i’ll do that when.

I don’t want to say anything anymore.

I just do quietly and cries every night.

There’s no one who can make any thing better.

If i have no studies at hand, i can just simply OT everyday to clear the never ending things..

But the problem is………… i have acca.

It’s so sucks when i read through the magazine that they sent.

Less than 35% passing rate for all the papers that i’m going to take next year onwards.

How should i cope?

Do i really have to make a choice to not continue acca until i leave this job?

I can’t quit now, right?

Can i?

Bringing up resignation will just go through the same thing..

Being called inside, being ‘counselled’

and next month everything comes back the same again.

I’m now even very afraid that i won’t pass the tax exam.

If i don’t OT, don’t come back on Saturday, i cannot do my work, till now i have not match and key in any invoices for OCTOBER leh.

But if i OT, then i’ll be wasting chance to study.

I cannot finish all i should study in a month..

Next week is end of October…

And it’s Nov.. and have to OT for closing and come back on Saturday..

Then after closing, i only left TWO WEEKS…

i’m really worried……………………….

It’s only A taxation this round.

Next half yr is PM & Law..

Apart from both paper’s passing rate is only 20% and 30%, i’m taking TWO.

One paper already let me worried till like hell now, and it’s a paper that i took before in POLY therefore i’m not as worried as other papers..

But, TWO and it’s NEW modules…

I dunno how am i going to cope.

November got to sign up for it.

I have to decide soon…………………………………………..